


Rupert Giles/Male Reader|| No More Running Away

by Bitten_Button



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Flashbacks, I promise this isn't abandoned I just Suck, Kinda extreme homophobia but it is ye old days of a few years back, M/M, References to Drugs, Sorry I'm slow at updating, Uses Reader instead of (Y/N), idk (Y/N) is just annoying to type, just infer when someone is saying your first and last name i guess, my brain just doesn't work when I want it to
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:00:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22302250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bitten_Button/pseuds/Bitten_Button
Summary: After moving to Sunnydale for a teaching job, you didn't expect to see your lover from days long past but there he was...Rated Teen for like.. Wild flirting, mentions of smoking pot, and?? Whatever I add.
Relationships: Rupert Giles/Original Male Character(s), Rupert Giles/Reader
Comments: 28
Kudos: 34





	1. Some Things Never Change

**Author's Note:**

> Yo, where's all the fic for Giles???? I mean, lads, lads... Come on. I can't be the only guy out here who loves him???  
> Also sorry about... All of the fic you're about to read. I wrote it all on mobile and all at midnight :) Enjoy.

"Alright everyone," Snyder walked into the staff lounge just in front of you, "introducing our new History teacher, Mr Reader."

Everyone was staring, you were quite a sight, scars on your face, still wearing your bike jacket, helmet tucked under one arm. 

You put your hands into the pockets of your leather jacket, giving a small nod and smile, "Hello, nice to meet you all."

Your British accent seemed to put everyone at ease. Your voice was just a little bit too nice and posh sounding (it wasn't all that posh but.. Americans hear English accents and just love it) for them to be as intimidated. So, they went back to their conversations after saying a quick welcome.

Except one person.

A man stood in the corner, he had a small frown on his face. You could have sworn you'd seen him before. There was a look in his eyes-

"Mr Giles," someone was trying to get his attention, "didn't you say you had to meet a student this morning before first period?"

You noticed then that he had his bag over his shoulder, probably just about to leave when you walked into the room.

"Uh, right." He gave a quick flash of a strained smile to who he was talking to and then he rushed out of the room, ducking his head as he left.

"What-" you begin to ask Snyder but he cuts you off with a small sigh.

"That was Rupert Giles, our librarian. He's very… aloof." Snyder frowns at the doorway.

"Aloof?" You ask with a small smile, "its ok, you're aloud to say he's a little..English." Snyder huffs and you suppose that it sounded kind of like amusement.

Rupert Giles… man, he sure did look the part now. A far cry from the young trouble maker you knew. You couldn't think long on it as you were ushered to introduce yourself.

Once you got in class, you hang your suit jacket on the back of your chair, and let out a sigh before writing your name quickly on the board.

Class was going well enough when there was a knock on the door.

"Come on in." You call out, not looking up from where you were leaning over a student's shoulder helping her. 

"Uh, I need to borrow Buffy Summers." You look up, seeing Rupert half leaning through the door looking way too nervous.

Glancing over at Summers you notice she looked a little worried and was already packing up her stuff. 

"Of course," you smile, hoping to get one in return but he promptly avoided looking at you, "I'll drop by at lunch to hand over the homework." He muttered a very well, and hurried the student out.

You sigh as the door closes but go back to young Rosenberg's work. "I, uh- I could go give Buffy the work. We're friends, and I was going to the library at Lunch anyway." 

You smile gratefully, "Thank you, Willow," you give another huff and stand back up straight, giving her shoulder a light pat, "Your work is perfect. Best I've seen in a while." She babbles a thanks, the compliment freaking her out a little, and you move on. 

But all the rest of lesson you can't help thinking about how Ripper had avoided looking at you. It was fair enough since you _had_ disappeared on him and he apparently went forward with the whole Watcher thing but still… You missed how he smiled.

Sat at the front of class, supposedly looking at work but your mind drifted. You took to concentrating on the slight cold of metal from a ring on a chain that you wore and kept hidden under your shirt.

_**~~~** _

_**It was late and the stars were out in full force, the English Autumn air was bloody freezing and the grass was slightly damp, but still, it was perfect.** _

_**You look to your side only to find your company already looking at you.** _

_**"What are you lookin' at?" You laugh, giving him a small nudge.** _

_**"The stars." He answered with the most stupid grin. God it made you crazy.** _

_**"Since when are you all sappy, eh Ripper?" You sit up, watching him watch you.** _

_**He sat up also, shifting closer to you, "how long 'ave I known you again?" H** _ _**is hand runs up your arm and settles at the base of your neck, his thumb smoothing the skin on your jaw.** _

_**You roll your eyes and with a small laugh lean in, "And here I thought I was the romantic."** _

_**He smiles into the kiss as your hands move to play with the back of his hair. O** _ _**nce you break he stands and pulls you up with him.** _

_**"I reckon I've been spending too much time with you then, all that romanticism is rubbing off on me."** _

_**"You do?" You raise and eyebrow at him as he sighs.** _

_**"Bloody defiantly." He mutters as he rummages through his jacket pocket quickly. In** _ _**his hand is a ring, nothing fancy, it's a simple silver band with a twisting rope like pattern. "But," he looks at you with a small smile, "I'd like to spend a hell of a lot more time with you." He grabs your hand and puts the ring on your finger. Not your engagement finger, since no one could know but still. A ring.** _

_**"Holy shit." You gasp and he holds your hand so you could see his matching ring.** _

_**"I know getting hitched isn't an option for us… ever. But, I wanted you to know.." He takes a deep breath, "I love you."** _

_**You just grabbed him by the jacket and pulled him into a kiss. You fell to the ground, him on top of you and in the small silence of that moment you just stare at each other's eyes.** _

_**"The stars are amazing tonight." You grin at him and he does blush slightly. He can tell from your stupid grin that you were going to tease him a little.** _

_**"Oh sod off." He rolls his eyes at you before leaning back down to kiss you.** _

_**~~~** _

The bell rang.

"Alright guys," you smile as everyone started to pack, "on your way out, come grab a worksheet from my desk. It's a short quiz. Nothing hard, and you can use the internet, as long as you state your source." 

Everyone seemed to be glad about not being banned from just looking up the answers.

Willow was the last one to come up to your desk, and you handed her an extra. 

"Does Buffy get called out of lessen a lot?" You ask, leaning on the wall next to the door.

"Only if she turns up." Willow answers with a small chuckle before backtracking, "not that she's a bad student just-"

"She's got a lot going on." You finish for her, "I was warned she was a problem but.. I think she's just got a lot going on, right? I can tell she's a good kid." You smile and Willow seems more than relieved that you wouldn't be hard on her friend. 

"Yeah, she tries her best." Willow smiles and quickly leaves for next lesson.

Your next lesson was smooth sailing, and you used the quiet to mull over everything. You'd moved to Sunnydale because it was a small town and a fresh start. A lot of towns turned you away from a teaching job because it got out that you liked men… Plus! The high mortality rate was kind of good cover just in case you ever had a mishap on a full moon.. But you were starting to think it was a bad idea. I mean, if Ripper- sorry, Rupert, was here and he was taking Buffy (who you assume is the slayer) out of class that means that something is probably going on. You figured that the town was full of crazy murderers and probably a few vampires but the slayer was here. Apparently permanently! So there was bound to be some crazy shit.

Lunch comes around and you put your suit jacket back on and head out to get a little fresh air, after eating.

You see Giles and some kids all sat at a bench and for a moment you're shocked at just how many people seem to know about the whole vampire thing but you have no time to mull it over as one of the kids calls out to you.

"Hey kids, Mr Giles." You greet and sit as willow shifts over a little for you, "what's up?"

Rupert doesn't look up from his book but does say a small hello so… progress(?) from the morning.

"Nothing much." Buffy shrugs but gives you a small apologetic smile, "sorry about having to leave your lesson earlier."

"It's quite alright, I'm sure Mr Giles had a more than reasonable enough uh, reason." You give a small smile and Buffy is glad that you're not angry or anything.

"Sure, but still I feel bad since it was your first lesson here."

"According to other staff members, I should be greatfull that you turned up at all." You chuckle as she goes red. Out of the corner of your eye you can see Rupert's fisted hand clench a little tighter at the sound of your laugh and you just don't know what to make of it. Does he want you to talk or leave or- gods, you just wanted him to tell you what he was thinking.

As Buffy tries to rush out a defence you shrug, "it's alright, I know you've got a lot on your plate. Being a teenager takes up a lot of time on its own, let alone anything else you need to do." 

"Thanks." She smiles.

You notice a kid you hadn't seen in class, he had an arm around Willow's waist so you guessed they were together. 

"Hi, I'm the new History teacher, Mr Reader." You give the guy a nod in greeting and he does the same.

"Oz." He replies simply, "nice to meet you."

You study him for a second and frown a little there's something off about him…

"You're a werewolf." You didn't really mean to say it outloud but you did. Everyone tenses and looks at you weird. Even Rupert looks up and you, eyebrows raised. Willow and Xander try to scramble together a denial but Oz just looks at you a little longer and tilts his head to the side.

" _You're_ a werewolf." He says back, the smallest inclination of surprise in his voice.

"Oh.." Willow relaxes a little, glad Oz isn't in any immediate trouble but she's still very on edge, "how'd you know?" 

You give her a smile, trying to put her at ease, "it's just getting very close to the full moon and I just… sensed him." 

Giles takes his glasses off for a second to wipe them but once they are back on his face he looks at you, opens his mouth to talk, closes it again to swallow thickly then continues on. "H-how long have you.." He trails off, eyebrows furrowed and frowning. 

You give him a small smile, it was strained and sad but you tried, "well, I don't remember how many years exactly but I was young." 

"Were you living with your parents still?" He prompted. 

"Oh," you got it, he was trying to ask if it was while you were with him, "funnily enough.." You pause, not sure if you should carry on with the truth but one look at the sad searching look in Rupert's eyes and you sighed, " Funnily enough my parents kicked me out the night it happened." You just about heard Willow say her sympathies but you were focused on the shocked look of Rupert. You couldn't look him in the eye as you carried on, but you needed to get the truth out there. "They uh… found out I was, uh, dating someone and kicked me out. Drove me to the edge of our town and told me to never come back. That night…" 

"You were bitten." Giles finished for you, his voice had a small shake to it. "You were bitten because-" his voice was soft and you could tell he was blaming himself for it, so you had to interrupt.

"Because my parents dumped me on the street." You said firmly, looking up to meet his eyes. "Never for a second did I blame y- my partner." 

There was a pause of you looking at each other and before you could say any more the bell rang.

It snapped you out of the moment and you stood hurriedly, "I gotta go." You straightened your clothes and gave everyone a quick smile, "great seeing you all." You mutter and practically bolt away.

"That was weird." Xander comments quietly.

The rest of the day was easy, you tried not to think too much about what happened at lunch, so you made yourself busy helping students, getting way more planning than you needed in, did a bit of reading. Overall you were very productive, but defiantly tired.

For a while you sit there, one hand over your heart, eyes closed, focusing on your breathing.

_**~~~** _

_**Everything was too much. Too much sound and light and smell and-** _

_**"Relax, love." Ripper's voice is soft and close, a whisper as he guides you out of the busy club and to his car. You try and focus in his hand on your shoulder, a grounding point. You're there, he's there, everything is ok.** _

_**You had your eyes screwed shut the whole time until you feel the leather of his seats and the click of the door.** _

_**He sat you in the back of the car, him next you you, half on the seat, half kneeling, so that he can be slightly in front of you.** _

_**It was a routine you had for when you freaked out. It didn't happen all the time but enough that you felt pretty stupid every time it happened.** _

_**"Going to touch you now." He mutters, undoing the top few buttons on your shirt and putting his chilled hand on the burning skin of your chest.** _

_**Ripper always has it so it's the hand with the ring on he touches you with. With your hand on top of his, he counts quietly and you breathe deep.** _

_**After a while he let's you do the counting in your head, only stepping back in with corrections if you speed up and start to get panicky again.** _

_**"Deep breaths." He speaks softly and just so full of understanding and love.** _

_**Once everything calms down and you can see the world properly again, you mutter a small sorry. Always feeling guilty for making Ripper put his fun on pause for you.** _

_**And like always he shakes his head softly and leans forward to kiss your forehead, "I love you."** _

_**~~~** _

As you let out a particularly long breath, you open your eyes back up and become aware of someone else in the room.

"Rough first day?" It was Rupert, leaning against the wall, his voice soft, like it always was when you needed a moment, and a tiny half smile tugged at his lips but you could see he was a little.. Apprehensive.

You give him a similar smile, "Just a long day, I think. Gotta get used to the energy of this place."

He let out a small amused huff, moving to perch at the edge of your desk. "Are you alright?"

You nod and stretch your arms forward, "Yes, just haven't been in a teaching position for a while, I forgot how much energy it took."

He chuckles softly before clearing his throat and frowning a little, "I uh, I'm sorry, a-about lunch, I didn't mean to pry-"

"It's alright," taking a deep breath in, you stand up, "I didn't mean to.. Well mention anything." The both of you give small strained chuckles, "Still," you continue, "I'm glad I got the chance to let you know.." Putting on your leather jacket, you shrug, "although it didn't happen like I had practiced in my head." 

"Really?" Rupert raised an eyebrow at you.

"No, I imagined some kind of… chance meet in a dark alley, and a shouting battle. Someone cries," you laugh at yourself for a moment, "and it would be raining."

Rupert smiles unguarded for a moment and rolls his eyes at you, "You always have been one for the dramatics."

"What can I say, some things about a man will never change." You think about all that has changed, about both you and Rupert. For starters, you both looked a far cry from your younger rebellious selves. Hair neat, less toned (although still broad. Still strong.. Maybe you more so than Rupert, its a wolf thing probably), the wrinkles from years of laughing, crying, living… gods, you had missed everyone of those years, but hopefully he'd let you be back in his life, even just at a friendly work capacity. Sure it would kill you a little everyday but you had just missed him so much.

Rupert stands up and follows you out the classroom, waiting for you as you lock the door.

"Buffy has gone home to get some homework in before going on patrol, a-and the others have gone home to get some well earned rest. I was just about to head home myself, but, uh, i-if you prefer we could go get drinks and catch up?" He busies his hands with his glasses as he spoke, putting them back on after finishing to gauge your reaction well.

He was glad to find a smile and you could see the relief on his face, a smile forming to match yours.

"If by drinks you mean that lovely café a block over, I'd be delighted to." You pat his shoulder, deciding that any amount of alcohol might be a bit much for now, even at low amounts, and again you notice muted relief. 

"I've been meaning to ask, why do so many people know about Buffy being the slayer? Aren't they supposed to be all… the chosen one and solo?"

Rupert couldn't even try to hold in the small burst of laughter, "Yes, well, I did try that approach. Needless to say, it didn't work out."

The pair of you exit the school together and get in Rupert's car, your motorbike left in the parking lot, you'd need a lift to work in the morning.


	2. Just Making Sure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh, probably not gonna update past this? At least not anytime I can't think of, but if some random inspiration hits you'll know.  
> I have small plot ideas but have no ideas about getting there lmao.  
> Super fun to have written this so far though!

Your alarm wakes you up nice an early, and for once you're in a great mood. Last night you and Ripper went to a neat little café and you just… talked. Talked about life and work like the couple of boring forty-odd year olds you were. And although the pair of you were itching to know everything,things like your younger years, details of wolfing out, and relationships, were kindly skipped over. A little more bonding would need to happen first. It was awkward and you'd hardly gotten a hug goodbye out of him, but despite the jumpiness of the night, it was the most peaceful you'd been in years.

So you shower and dress quickly, a surprising pep in your step. 

Food time.

As you were cooking some bacon, a knock came at the door.

"Door is open!" You call out over your shoulder and after a small pause the door clicks open.

"Hello?" Ripper calls out as he closes the door softly behind him.

"In the kitchen." 

He rounds the corner and comes to a stop in the doorway. "Good morning."

"You hungry?" You ask, taking the pan off the heat, grabbing two plates before he answers.

"Uh," he checks his watch, seemingly going to protest but looks up to see you already dishing out a reasonable breakfast of bacon and eggs, "oh, alright then." He smiles, putting his shoulder bag by the door and pulling up a stool at the little kitchen island. 

Going to the fridge, you grab some orange juice for yourself and pause, "want any sauce, Ripper?" 

"No thanks."

"Drink? I got juice, or I could make you a tea?" 

He huffs a small laugh, remembering that you always were the type to make sure he was 100% comfortable and satisfied at breakfast or dinner. "Juice is fine."

Looking after him was something you were always good at.

"Just making sure."

_**~~~** _

_**You'd woken up before Ripper. No surprise considering he'd had quite the night, getting into a fight with some of the local delinquents. Not that the pair of you weren't delinquents yourselves but at the time you weren't out to cause the usual trouble, so you didn't feel unjust in calling them names.** _

_**There was a big bruise on his cheek, and even asleep he was cradling his arm with a touch of gentleness.** _

_**You weren't free from cuts and bruises, but Ripper was worse off. He always insisted on being the tough one and coming to defend you.** _

_**So, you snuck out of bed as softly as possible, glad your parents weren't home so you could start making breakfast without making any excuses or asking for permission to cook.** _

_**As you walked back upstairs, the smell of fresh pancakes woke Ripper up and he slowly pushed himself to sit up.** _

_**"Good morning, beautiful." You tease, handing him his food on your special breakfast in bed tray.** _

_**Ripper laughed at you, knowing that a lot of his "beauty" was covered up with cuts and his slightly swollen eye. "You know you love it." He grinned, because you did. The knight in shining armour thing was kinda hot. The picture of Ripper standing face to face with someone and kicking their ass, all for you, was a good one.** _

_**"Just eat." You roll your eyes, perching on the edge of the bed as he took his first bite.** _

_**"Good?" You ask but in typical fashion don't wait for him to even nod, "want more syrup? I could re-do them thicker if you want? Is it enough, I still have batter left-"** _

_**The gentle touch of a hand on your leg got you to shut up, "it's all perfect, love." Ripper practically melted as you smile, a little shy but glad he was alright. Small smiles like that one, ones that no one got to see apart from Ripper in these early hours, fuck, they made his heart melt.** _

_**"Just checkin'… since it was kind of my fault you got into the fight anyway." You move to sit next to Ripper properly, back against on the headboard.** _

_**"Bullshit," He said around a mouthful before swallowing and continuing, "them wankers was making fun of you. It ain't your fault that they ain't never seen a guy as pretty as you. All dressed nice for our date."** _

_**You knew he had a point but still you felt stupid for waring something even a little flamboyant, since you'd be with Ripper and you didn't want to mess with his image.** _

_**"I'd rather get to fuck up some twats and spend my day with my handsome and kinda nerdy boyfriend then hang out with any of them lot." He put the tray on the nightstand for a moment and pulled you closer, "plus we both know you can cause far more trouble than any of em combined." He kissed you and pulled at your lip. "Little demon, you are."** _

_**It pained you to wiggle out of his grasp, but you did and stood, placing the tray back on his lap.** _

_**"Eat, then we can test that theory." You winked and you could see the excitement wash over Ripper but he got himself under control quickly.** _

_**"Alright."** _

_**"..."** _

_**"What?"** _

_**"Are you sure you don't need-"** _

_**"Shut up."** _

_**"...Just making sure."** _

_**~~~** _

"Thank you for driving me." You stretch your arms as you get out of the car.

"Thank you for the breakfast." Rupert replied as you started your way towards the building.

"Honestly, glad you had some because I probably would have eaten it all myself." You grin and Rupert laughs at you. 

"I don't doubt it, I remember well the powers of you with munchies." He seems all too pleased with the shocked look on your face, "ate basically a months worth of shopping."

You gasp and punch his arm jokingly, "Oi, it's not like I ate all the food on my own, I remember someone else neck deep in crisp packets."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go. That was my contribution to the non existent pile of Giles / male reader... If anyone finds another one, out there somewhere please tell me. I legit couldn't find a single one..  
> As always, kudos and comments are appreciated! It's the validation I live for!


	3. Wolf Jitters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Full moons suck and you're not used to having to work on the morning of.  
> This chapter was supposed to be more serious than it tuned out but I'm sad and just wanted to get some content out there so :)  
> Enjoy

The morning before the full moon always had you on edge and it seemed this morning was no exception. It didn't help that the air was thick with a brewing evil that made your hairs stand on end. From the moment you woke up, you could tell that you were going to be awfully jumpy.

"Mr Reader!" The sudden shout made you jump and you turn on your heel quickly and see Willow walking over to you. She stalled slightly seeing the way you turned, seemingly ready to defend yourself. 

You locked eyes with her and seeing who it was and how concerned she was you took a deep breath, hand on your heart.

"Willow," the best smile you had didn't make her worried frown move much, "you made me jump, sorry."

Being Willow, she gave you a sympathetic smile, "Got the full moon jumpies?" 

"A little bit yeah." You sigh and run your hand over your face, "this is the first time I'm going to be around people on the day of a transformation since…" you looked up and gave a sharp sigh, "well, it's been a long time."

Willow patted your arm and opened her mouth, supposedly to comfort you, but the bell interrupted whatever she was going to say, "Oh man, I gotta go. But I'll see you in class after homeroom, yeah?"

"Of course."

"I said be quiet!" You slam your hand down against your desk, and sure it shut up the guys talking in the back, but it also made the whole class freeze and look up at you. 

You felt like shit for snapping like that but god they were just making too much noise.

Swallowing thickly you run your hand through your hair, "Sorry. God, I didn't mean to snap like that I just-" you sigh and sit down at your desk, "rough day." Sure it was only the start of the day but there was a small sympathetic look on your students.

Just before you train your eyes onto your papers you catch eyes with Willow and Buffy, the pair of them worried but giving you their best smiles. You're glad they don't hate you at least.

Just as your last students filed out, and you were about to collapse in shame against your desk, you hear Willow happily greeting Giles as he side stepped around them to get into your room.

You didn't move to look up at him when you heard the door softly click shut, Giles sighed and took a seat on the edge of your desk.

"I ran into Willow on her way to homeroom. She uh," he huffed a small laugh, "she stuttered out something about being worried about your 'Wolfy jitters' and then rushed off." Looking down at you, he tried to lean enough to get a look at your face as you covered it with your hands.

Giving a groan, you sit up straight and catch Giles' worried frown.

"I'm fine," You sigh. "I'm just not usually around people on the morning of, and I'm not used to having to… reign in any… wolf jitters." You huff a small chuckle.

"You could have just taken the day off." Rupert says with a small sigh, "I know you don't like missing work but, you're placing an unnecessary amount of stress upon yourself." 

He's right, of course, but you're stubborn, so instead of a proper reply you just stand abruptly and jerk your head for him to follow you, "Come on, we have apocalypse prep to finish."

**_~~~_ **

**_"I'm fine!" You groan pushing past Ripper as he tried to block your bedroom door._ **

**_"You ain't fine," he grumbled walking after you, "you're sick, an' you should be resting."_ **

**_"I can't, I gotta get to work." Not your greatest idea, you think as you realize that bending to tie your shoes makes you a bit too out of breath._ **

**_"I know," Ripper rolls his eyes, "and usually I'm all for your never give in attitude, but, " he drops to a crouch next to you, "you look like tying your laces will make you faint. Just take the day off and you'll be back at work in no time."_ **

**_"Rupert," you say sternly and he sighs dramatically, knowing if you pulled out his proper name, there was no way of changing your mind, "worst case scenario, you gotta come pick me up later."_ **

**_Ripper let you go on your way, only standing in the doorway to kiss you before you left._ **

**_"I'll see you in an hour when you pass out, you twat." He smiles fondly as you go._ **

**_"No you won't."_ **

**_._ **

**_._ **

**_"You alright?"_ **

**_"Two hours."_ **

**_"Got half a mind to leave you here on the floor."_ **

**_~~~_ **

  
  


You'd been reading for a couple of hours, and you were tired and irritable, and everyone left you well enough alone.

Oz looked up at the clock, then to Giles, jerking his head over to you.

"It's getting late." Giles said loudly, "almost moonrise."

You look up at the clock and groan as you stretch, "damn it." You'd hoped to help for longer.

"I'll drive you home," Giles said already standing and grabbing his jacket, "make sure you get home alright."

"Drive faster than you usually do," Buffy teased, "we want him home before the transformation."

Giles huffs a small defiant sound, "Yes, thank you."

.

.

"With minutes to spare." Rupert smiled.

"Sorry I couldn't stay and help." You stood just a single pace into your home, not wanting to go but knowing you had to.

"It's fine," he smiled softly, then chuckled and shook his head slightly, "there's always the next Apocalypse."

"Got one scheduled?"

"No, but they do tend to happen an awful lot." 

"...You better be alive to come pick me up in the morning."

"I'll try my best."

"You better… because I am _not_ walking to work." Trying your best to give a cheeky laugh just made the wave in your voice more noticeable.

"Reader..." Rupert puts his hand on your arm, thumb smoothing against the fabric of your jacket, "I'm going to be fine."

_**~~~** _

**_"I'll be fine, love. Ain't no vamp scum getting away with getting you hurt, no matter how powerful he thinks he is." Ripper said with a grin, holding your hand as he knelt beside where you lay on his sofa, a nasty looking gash on your head and several ice packs strapped to your leg._ **

**_"You better be," you smile back, it's smaller but you tried, "or I'll never make you food again."_ **

**_"Now that's an incentive."_ **

**_Reaching out to brush away a little bit of dirt from his cheek with your thumb, you cup his face gently, "I'm being serious, please be careful."_ **

**_His grin fades into a soft lopsided smile, "anything for you." Putting his hand over yours he leans into your touch, then places a small kiss against your palm. "I'll be back before you know it. Just get some rest."_ **

_**~~~** _

"You better be." 

"I'll be back before you know it.." He pulls his hand back and steps away from your door, "now, please get some rest."

The next morning, when you open your door to Rupert, there's a small moment where the pair of you scan the other for particularly bad injuries but neither of you have much more than a couple small bruises. Apart from the one black eye that looks just as at home as ever spreading slightly to the watcher's cheek.

"You look like shit." You smile, happy he's alright.

Returning much the same fond look, Rupert rolls his eyes, "You're one to talk."

"C'mon in, nothing fancy, but I made toast."


	4. Sleepy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm having a rough time sorting any real plot out in my head, so have this... Cute bit.

Lunch rolled around and your whole little group looked terrible.

The whole gang was sat at the big table in the library. Xander was face down, asleep on his sandwich, Willow looked exhausted while she ate, Buffy leaning against her on one side as she whined about school work, and Oz on her other side, just about conscious grinning love sick as Willow rambled about whatever thought entered her tired little head and Cordelia was even too tired to say anything about how shitty everyone looked.

You were yawning over some marking you were supposed to do the night before but didn't even look at. And Giles was simply reading, occasionally looking up with a fond look that you could see from the corner of your eye.

In unison, you and Oz let out loud yawns. 

Willow awed at Oz, "just take a nap, there's still ages of lunch break left." 

He smiled sleepily at her and nestled into her more to get comfortable before promptly passing out.

It was adorable, and you watched how Willow played with his hair for a moment.

_**~~~** _

_**"Baby," Ripper groaned, flopping on his sofa next to you and letting his head fall face first into your lap, "so tired…"** _

_**You'd been out last night, causing more than your fair share of trouble. Ripper, being the more adept of the two of you, had taken on more of the heavy lifting when it came to the magics, but you'd thoroughly worn yourself out as well.** _

_**"I know, how about you take a nap?" You run your fingers through his hair, smiling as he leaned into it a bit.** _

_**"Only if you come down here and cuddle me proper." He grinned at you sleepily.** _

_**"How's a guy s'posed to say no to that look?" You joke as he moved to let you lie down as well.** _

_**"You aren't." He said triumphantly before laying back down, arms around you.** _

_**Entwined in each other, your hands idly played with the hair at the back of his head while your foreheads rested against each other.** _

_**"Wonder if the others got away from the cops". He mutters half asleep.** _

_**You laugh lightly, also half asleep, "we'll find out in the morning. They'll either come n' pout at us for leaving early, or they'll be in jail."** _

_**Ripper hums an amused agreement, happily drifting off in your arms.** _

_**~~~** _

You look down at your work before pushing it away a bit, clearing room for you to take a nap. While your arms weren't the best pillow, it was comfortable enough for you to drift off.

When the shrill bell startled you awake, you saw the kids all tiredly shuffling about getting their stuff ready for next lesson. 

You couldn't see Giles anywhere but he'd at some point put his blazer over you like a blanket. The others weren't with it enough to really notice as you stood and folded the jacket over your arm.

Just before you put the blazer besides the computer on the front desk, you notice the door to his little office is open a little.

Sure enough, there he was, hunched over asleep on his tiny desk, breathing soft snores. Draping his jacket over his shoulders, you take a moment to absently wish you had a camera on you, so you could capture the look of his head awkwardly in his arms, pushing his glasses askew.. The frames would probably leave a red mark. 

Later you find out that the glasses did indeed leave small red indent lines across his nose and slightly at his temple. He frowned as you held back a teasing laugh.


	5. Please, call me Joyce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You bump into Buffy and her Mum- who seems nice enough.  
> No Giles in this chapter, but I hope ya still like it.

Ah, the weekend. Usually this time would be spent sat in your home alone but since moving to Sunnydale, you actually spend a lot of it with Rupert and the kids, occult research mostly. Today isn't such a day, but you were out. Actually you'd needed to go food shopping, having been burning through more food than usual because of how often you find yourself making breakfast for two.

With a couple bags in hand, you were just walking home when you see Buffy and a woman- you assumed her to be Buffy's mother- walking down the road. They seemed to be having a good time, and you contemplated crossing the street so that you wouldn't pass them and possibly interrupt. Before you could so much as check the road for passing cars, Buffy spots you and waves, "Hey, Mr Reader!" 

You smile and wave back with your hand full of shopping, "Good morning, Buffy." 

She picks up the pace ever so slightly to get to you.

"How are you?" You ask, being almost completely normal about it, but still holding an air of professionalism that you usually drop around Buffy and the others, but with a parent there, you kept it up.

"Good," she smiles, "just going shopping with my mum." She nods her head at the woman besides her. 

You quickly shuffle the bags out of one of your hands to free it up for a handshake, "I'm Reader, I teach history, it's a pleasure to meet you Ms summers."

She smiles and shakes your hand, "please, call me Joyce." She's very polite, and evidently happy to be meeting a teacher on the street, not the fake happy some people get like "oh no, I gotta be interested in my child!" She seems to be genuinely happy at it. It's good to see.

"I've heard so much about you, Mr Reader." 

"All good things I hope." You laugh politely. From the corner of your eye, you can see Buffy looking between you with equal amounts of confusion and disgust- you could almost hear the "what are you doing with your voice, what the fuck."

"Mostly just complaints about having to do homework." Joyce jokes, and you laugh along.

"I thought you liked my homework," you look at Buffy with a small grin, "I make it extra fun, just for you." 

She rolls her eyes at you, but returns a smile, "You add puns. Puns and silly doodles." 

"They're good puns." You have to hold yourself back from a full pout, it would have been funny but probably unprofessional.

"Buffy also says you help in the library a lot, with Mr Giles." Joyce cuts back in and this time, while still pleasant and polite, there's a small edge of seriousness to her voice.

Buffy gets a little bit tense as soon as her mum says it, and you cant quite tell if her mum knows or not, so you go with something neutral. 

"Yes, I do spend a lot of time in there, for my own personal research.. And while I'm about, I might as well help out any student who needs it." It's a good thing, you think, that you're used to bullshitting to people unaware of many things in your life.

Joyce gives a nod and nudges Buffy with her elbow slightly, "For someone with grades like hers, Buffy spends a lot of time in the library."

It's a joke, and you know it is (mostly), but you see Buffy duck her head a little bit and feel the need to stand up for her.

"Well, she's admittedly not the most focused student," you start with a light chuckle, showing Joyce you know where she's coming from before making your point, "but she is an exceedingly bright young lady, and wonderful friend." You look at Buffy, she was no less embarrassed but a different kind of embarrassed now. Not shameful, just flustered from compliments.

"You helped Willow with her research for about an hour the other day, despite only having the most basic grasp of the material." You say deliberately, making sure what you were trying to say got through, "once presented with something you feel passionate about, like helping your friends, nothing can stand in your way. Not even the end of the world, I bet."

"Thanks." Buffy smiles back at you and then seems to remember her mum is stood just beside her, giving you and Buffy a small disbelieving look. "See mom? I'm not totally useless. I'm passionate." It's presented with a joking tone, but it does make you wonder if that's how Buffy really thinks her mother views her.

"On an actual academic scale as well," you turn back to Joyce, " she's been picking up my classes really well. She's getting particularly good at comparing multiple sources and judging their reliability."

Joyce lights up slightly at something solid and academic, "that's wonderful, I was meaning to ask how she was behaving in class-"

"Oh, no you don't! We gotta go!" Buffy quickly says, not wanting any report on her behavior given, "it's been nice seeing you, I'll see you on Monday, bye!" She rushes, pulling her mother away by the arm.

Joyce looks confused for a moment before fondly rolling her eyes and giving in. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr Reader!" She calls as she's dragged away.

"You too." You wave and shake your head slightly before heading home.

  
  


"Don't forget to do the reading guys!" you say to your class as they start to file out. Most of them don't even seem to as much as even consider doing the reading, going by their uninterested grunts and groans.

Soon it's just you and Willow, she packs up extra slowly some days so she can stay and talk to you, without just standing around waiting for everyone to leave.

"I hear you bumped into Buffy and her Mom the other day." Willow says, putting her back over her shoulder.

"I did." You answer simply with a small smile. "Joyce seems a lovely mother."

Willow probably had a point originally but drops it for now in favour of going "ooh, Joyce. Not Ms Summers?" She says teasing and a small redness peppers your cheeks.

"She told me to call her Joyce, so I did." You defend quietly but it just prompts the girl to giggle more. "Willow, she isn't my type, so don't even start." You say with a mock serious tone. 

But Willow presses on, she's not big into teasing people- but about crushes, especially adults getting giddy like teenagers, it's always kinda funny. Plus, she was starting to view you more as a weird friend, and less like a big scary teacher adult. "So you have a type do you?" She leans on your desk and the serious face you had splits into a smile.

"Yes, I do. And Joyce is definitely not my type." Despite you chuckling away, she gets the message that you're not going to give it up so easily.

With a small pout Willow shrugs, "I'll find out eventually."

"Not if I can help it, young lady." 


	6. Quiet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ends in a mild angst and I'm sorry about that. Also my inspiration has yeeted itself off a cliff so you might be stuck on that cliffhanger for a while I'm so sorrry

It was quiet. It doesn't often happen, there's usually some disaster going on, be it supernatural or just school work. But not right now. Right now was test free _AND_ vamp free. It was a rare combo but it was happening.

Now the only disaster going on that you could see was how calm things were. 

Usually your time is spent being busy. You'd mark, plan classes, crate homework sheets, or be scanning the entire library for information on the current evils. But now.. It was just calm. And while you still had marking and lesson plans to make, they went by much quicker now your other stresses were relieved. 

It was hell.

Now without everyone rushing about, you found yourself in a predicament you'd been dreading since your first day.

The kids were chatting aimlessly to each other, and you were sat next to Giles. With nothing to distract you- well, nothing apart from him.

You'd come to Sunnydale in the middle of a small crisis, so that needed sorting out, then with your wolfing out, and with the minor vamps along the way, it'd been a wild ride. But now it was calm. 

And for the first time neither of you had an excuse to rush off once your hearts started beating a little faster.

"Uh, I heard you saw Buffy on the weekend." Rupert starts quietly, not looking at you but at the kids with a small smile.

"Yes, I bumped into her and her mum." You answer just as quietly, looking down at your hands 

"Apparently you um, stood up for her rather spectacularly." He turns to give you a small smile, that you return, and then you both look away quickly. "I appreciate it. She-she gets a hard time from a lot of people about her academic performance."

"I know, I saw she was put off by her mum mentioning school and I couldn't just.. Not say anything." A short pause and you huff a small laugh, "Plus, she really is doing quite well in my class. Maybe it's because I know her a bit better than a lot of the teachers, but I get how she works. She just needs the right help." 

When you look back up, you see Rupert is giving you the softest smile, the crowfoot at the corner of his eyes is subtle but you think it's quite cute.

"I appreciate that. I truly do. She's got enough to worry about, and I know she doesn't say it, but her academics do mean something to her." He looks back to Buffy and fondly shakes his head. "I'm glad she has you for support." 

"You're just glad to lighten the load a little," you joke, getting a single breath of amusement from Rupert, "you've been out here, being the only adult she can really talk to for so long, on top of all the watcher responsibilities, you gotta be relieved to unload a bit of that." 

He rolls his eyes at you with a muttered, "of course." And you could probably have watched him just sat there for ages, but instead quickly look away. "I mean it Rupert," you nudge him with your elbow, "you've done so much for her, she knows it too. She's lucky to have you as a watcher." 

Rupert looks over to you with a smile just pulling lightly at the edge of his mouth and it's such a soft expression, one not unlike the looks he used to give you, but instead of leaning in to kiss you- although you're sure the thought crossed his mind (it definitely crossed yours), he nodded slightly and said "thank you." In a quiet voice.

"I'm sure younger us would have a fit, but I'm glad that you finished your training." 

There's a moment of eye contact where both of you had so much to say, but neither of you wanted to say anything. You break your gaze when Rupert's eyes dart down to your lips, it's just for a second, and you almost didn't notice, but you did and it made you look quickly down at your hands, a blush starting to crawl up your neck. 

"Who knows what kind of stuck up ass Buffy would have had to deal with if you weren't about." You say quickly with a forced chuckle, ever the expert at deflecting with humor.

Giles laughs much the same as you had, a small sound that wavered in his throat, "I don't imagine they'd be able to keep her under control."

"Oh, like you have her under control?" You tease, "I might not have been here for long, but I'm not blind Rupert." 

Rupert's eyebrows raise a little before he just kind of nods, begrudgingly agreeing, "You're right."

"I'm always right." It's just a joke but the triumph in your tone has the smallest edge of sincerity.

"Oh, I remember." He says, all the nights of petty disagreements coming back to him, and evidently he found it amusing.

And suddenly you feel just like you used to, shy and blushing as Ripper gave you a cocky grin.

"Well, 's not my fault I've always been the smarter one." You had meant it as a sass back but there was a quiet waver to your already whispered voice. 

"That's what you think, is it?" 

"Hey whisper guys," Xander called out to you, and then you realise that the group were looking at you, "whatcha whisperin' about?" 

You glance at Giles and see his shoulders had tightened slightly, surprised by the sudden reminder that you were still in the company of the kids.

"Just, uh, our respective boring old person weekends." You reply with almost total normality, ignoring the blush you felt was still clinging to you, and hoping that no one could see it.

"Yes, uh-" Giles quickly busied himself with cleaning his glasses, inspecting the lenses for dirt instead of looking up at the gang, "I read a new book and Reader got ahead with marking." He put his glasses back on, "qu-quite boring by your standards." 

"Oi," you gasp, "I also went shopping, and did some cooking! I'm not totally boring!"

The kids laugh and then move on, talking instead about Willow's weekend, your comment about cooking having prompted her to talk about the cookies she baked.

While being more present for this conversation, you still kept glancing at Rupert, most of the time finding him looking back at you.

Later, once you've successfully gotten home without bumping into Rupert after last class, you realise that it's hard to be around him with nothing else going on.

While you do like spending time with Rupert, there's a lot of emotions there that neither of you know how to talk about and well… You'd lived in a lot of towns, and it hadn't always been your choice to leave. Sometimes you were kicked out. Sometimes you anticipated being kicked out and ran away.

In the dark of your living room, light from outside just creeping through your closed blinds, these thoughts aren't welcome ones, and as much fun as you were having laying across your sofa staring at the ceiling it started to hurt your back.

So you just go to bed, head and stomach heavy with thoughts of packing your bags in a rush as people yell outside of your door, calling you a freak.

You can't do that to Ripper.

Not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> I've just kinda spent the last few weeks opening and closing my google doc and not being able to write, so idk when there's gonna be another update. But I do really love this story, so I hope I can pull myself together at some point lmao.


	7. Just Tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chilling at school, getting sad.

When you pull up to school and watch some of the earlier kids wondering about, you can't help how your fingers cling desperately to your bike helmet, your fingertips whitening from the pressure. 

All these people, and you weren't hit with the overwhelming urge to run away and that… that's your problem. 

After all your years of hopping from town to town, you'd never felt so comfortable so _quickly_. 

Staring down at your reflection in your visor, you frown at the scars creeping across your cheeks and try not to think about getting chased out of town. 

"If i just.. Keep my distance.." You reason silently with yourself, "Talk to the kids as little as possible and.. Avoid- they'll all just move on." If no one was too attached, it wouldn't be so bad… 

"Mr Reader!" The chipper voice of Willow makes you look up and you see her and Oz coming over to you, her arms full of books. Oh no, you'd forgotten that you'd promised to go through them with her, so now you had to go to the library at lunch, damn it.

"Hey guys, " you smile and lock your helmet away, "You two alright?" 

"I'm super excited about lunch," Willow gestures with the books in her arms, "I've had these out of the library for a while now, but haven't made much progress- as smart as Giles is, he isn't as fun as you are."

You laugh politely and roll your eyes, "I'm glad I'm not boring."

"Not as boring." Oz adds with a small smirk, and you give a mock offended gasp. 

"Oi, watch it wolf boy," You nudge him and he laughs, "I'm fun!" 

It's an easy conversation as you walk into the building. So much for keeping distance from the kids, especially Willow, they're too chatty. 

Once Willow splits from the group to go to her homeroom, Oz walks a little ways further with you. 

He gives a short sigh, "You seem worried, what's up?"

You hadn't expected him to ask, having pegged him as the kind of guy to not enjoy talking about feelings. Regardless, you smile, "Nothing important. Just some uh, some marking I was supposed to have finished."

Oz frowns, "That's a lie, I can basically _smell_ that that's a lie-" he sighs, "but whatever. I trust that you can sort it out." 

You come to a stop outside of your classroom door, a couple of your homeroom students waiting around the door for you to unlock the door. 

"Thank you Oz," You pat his shoulder, "I'll be alright, promise."

He nods, not entirely convinced and still frowning slightly. From your small moments hanging out, you'd realized that you were probably the closest thing to a pack mate Oz had ever had, he didn't like seeing you upset. He'd said you were a weird older brother to him, "no, like, _really_ weird." He'd added to ease the emotional hit of his statement. 

You didn't like that promise you made, because you had no clue if you were going to be alright.

First lesson was quick and apparently your somber mood was getting more and more noticeable. Sometimes when you were in a sour mood, the kids liked to push and see if they could get you to yell at them or try do something to make you laugh and stop frowning. But by the end of homeroom people were starting to give you worried looks. 

You zoned out for much of your first class, setting the work and then sitting at your desk silently. Not looking the kind of angry that students liked to prod, just silent and staring at your blank papers with a small crease in your brow.

**_~~~_ **

**_Word got out. Again._ **

**_Really you'd hardly had time to grow accustomed to your home this time around. Most of your clothes were still packed but still you rushed around the house trying to gather up your stationary and the few outfits you had gotten out of the backpack you'd bought years ago now._ **

**_You were on your way to the kitchen, hoping to grab some food, not knowing how long you'd be on the road this time around._ **

**_As you take a step into the kitchen, the click of your shoe hitting the tiled floor was drowned out as something cashed beside you. The sound made you stumble forwards, hitting your head against the lowest cupboards. You scramble to get yourself facing the direction of the sound, your back pressed against the cupboard as you sat on the floor._ **

**_There was no attacker in your kitchen but there was a brick._ **

**_A fucking brick had been thrown through your window._ **

**_Pulse still slamming heavily in your head you stand up and get closer._ **

**_The brick had a note attached to it via three elastic bands. Before taking a look at the note you glance out the window, and see the culprit still stood there, looking proud as he cradled another brick in his hand. You had expected some kid to be at fault here but it wasn't a teenager, instead a large man in his mid to late thirties. You recognised him from PTA meetings- when he wasn't too pissed to turn up that is._ **

**_"You freak," he spat, "perverts like you shouldnt be allowed to live with the rest of us," he stepped closer to the house threateningly, "infiltrating our school, corrupting our kids!"_ **

**_Behind him you could see a couple of your neighbors stepping outside or looking through their windows at the commotion._ **

**_He even got a few cheers out of them._ **

**_Marching up to your motorbike you could see him grin, tightening his grip on the brick still in his hand._ **

**_It took a lot to unclench your jaw, pushing back how you felt like a cornered animal- well… you kind of were._ **

**_"If you break my bike, I can't get out of your town." You call out to him, your voice firm and you didn't dare move, eyes glued to him in a glare._ **

**_(The crowd was getting bigger and at the front of the crowd you could see the man who had started it all. You'd been flirting with him- him flirting right back, mind you- when someone came a little too close to hearing range of the two of you and he lashed out. Saying you were coming onto him when he didn't want it, lies of course._ **

**_He had the decency to look ashamed but mostly he was frightened. Seeing his town's reaction firsthand.)_ **

**_Instead of bringing the brick down onto your bike, it was thrown into another window._ **

**_You didn't even flinch at the sound this time, keeping your eyes on the man slowly advancing towards the broken window you were looking through._ **

**_He didn't say more, simply got close enough to spit on you and grin as he went back to his people._ **

**_People left and you catch eye contact with the guy you'd flirted with, your glare smoothed out into a hurt frown. You understood he had been scared, but you weren't forgiving him. Sighing, you pick up the brick still at your feet, not caring to be careful and avoid the glass, and retreat upstairs to the bedroom room, where all the windows were thankfully still intact._ **

**_The note simply said freak in bold letters, then a smaller get out of our town._ **

**_You take a little humour in the unsurprisingly bad penmanship of the note._ **

**_~~~_ **

  
  


By the end of the first lesson some kids were slow to pack up, making sure to tell you it was an interesting lesson.

One girl hung back to ask if you were alright and you gave her a smile, "thank you, I'm just super tired, I didn't get a good night sleep last night." 

Even some random student wasn't buying your bullshit, so you had no clue how you were going to get through the library study session.

You stood outside the library doors, taking deep breaths. "Here we go." You mutter, pushing the doors open and pushing down your bad mood.

"Hello all." You say to everyone with a smile, hoping that you look happy enough.

Giles greeted you with a smile but you didn't even look at him, hurrying over to Willow. His smile fell a little, as he watched you take a seat and wave away the kid's concern.

"I'm fine," you say to Willow, not missing the way Oz rolled his eyes at you, "I'm just tired and grumpy today."

Willow was hesitant to open the book and get started, "If you're too tired, i don't mind if you wanna do this some other time-" 

"No no, it's fine," you force a smile and pick up one of the books, "I promised to go through these with you, so that's what I'll do."

While focusing on Willow and the books, you did cheer up a little, just doing calm research and making jokes with her and Oz was so relaxing and for a bit you forgot about the strange feeling of fear and shame that had been clinging to you since the day before.

Alas, it couldn't last forever and as the bell rang and everyone packed up, you locked eyes with Giles. 

He has a small frown and looks at you, silently asking if you're alright. 

You smile and immediately see he doesn't buy it one bit, but you had a class to get to, so with your head down, you go. 

The tail end of the day is a thousand times worse than the morning, as your lack of sleep catches up to you more and more, Rupert's small frown sticks in the back of your mind. 

Leaving your classroom at the end of the day, Rupert is waiting for you, that frown still teasing at the edge of his mouth. 

"Reader, are you alright?" he asks in that soft tone he always used when he was concerned and god you really wish he wouldn't. 

"Oh, hey," you smile, "I'm alright, tired as hell though." you say with a hopefully convincing chuckle. 

If he had believed you even slightly it falls apart when a student walks past and loudly says freak. You whip your head around, panicked to see who had said it and- of course they hadn't been talking to you. A small group of boys walked by, teasing their friend. 

Once the shot of panic fades, you realise what has happened and look at Rupert who looks like he might say something but he settles on. "If you're too tired, i can drive you home?" 

"No, I'll be alright." You don't give him time to argue as you give him another shaky smile and rush away. 

When you get home you stare at the bag still packed and resting against the foot of your bed and think about leaving it be or grabbing it and going. 

You leave it as it is and go back to the living room to sleep on the sofa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back from the dead with little to no content WOO! :) I do love this fic and im sorry it takes me forever to do stuff. I'm so thankful for your continued support!! <3


	8. Something To Work On

As the morning comes around you're still staring up at your ceiling, the brief stints of sleep you had leaving you with flashes of thrown stones and cracked ribs that you'd wanted to leave far behind. 

You sit up and stare at the collection of empty or half empty mugs that you had amassed last night. Some tea, some coffee, one had been warm milk in a desperate attempt to get some peaceful sleep after trying for hours to stay awake. 

Cleaning up the mugs is as good a distraction from clock ticking on the wall as any, so you set to doing it as slowly as you can get away with, without feeling like you aren't busy. 

Once you've washed, dried, and put away the mugs, you clean the other dishes and do a bit more busy work before you set about making breakfast.

You don't finish eating breakfast but having run out of odd jobs you could do with low effort, you get dressed for work and decide to walk, hoping to energise you a little or at the very least make you a little less early. 

The school was still very empty, only the janitors and cooks had turned up so far. Everyone was confused to see you, but with an excuse about leaving some work in the staff room and having to get it done by first lesson, they let you carry on peacefully.

At least the staff room coffee wasn't horrendous.

You get a mug and on your way to your classroom you stop in front of the library doors. 

You weigh the options of sitting in your empty classroom alone or sitting in the back of the empty library alone- but with books! 

You sigh and take up a spot between the bookshelves and choose a random book as you sink to the floor.

**_~~~_ **

****

**_Trees rush past and the only sound that raises above the ragged breathing and footfalls of a heavy sprint is the gunshot._ **

**_So full of adrenaline, it was like slow motion as you watched as the bullet hit the edge of the tree next to you, splintering it and sending the wood hurtling towards you._ **

**_You can't hear where the person who fired is, all you know is you need to run. Faster. Faster. Further away from wherever you had been and towards absolutely anywhere else._ **

**_With your backpack secured on your back, you had no need to ever go back and you never would._ **

**_Another shot._ **

**_This one is closer to the target of killing you, going through your upper arm. The blood gets onto your face and you howl in pain, stumbling for a moment but quickly get back on your feet._ **

**_Gotta get away-_ **

**_You have no idea what direction you're going, the dark looming trees surrounding you all look so similar but as long as it's away, you don't care._ **

**_~~~_ **

"Reader..." someone is calling your name and you're vaguely aware that they are shaking your shoulder as the forest scene clings to your mind. 

"Reader," they try again and this time it comes with more clarity- and the realisation of a pain in your neck, "come on, wake up." 

Awakeness snaps to you with another shake and the memories of another gunshot ringing out.

You scramble to sit up straight, hitting your head on the bookshelf behind you, and the hands that had been shaking your shoulders came to hold you by the upper arm, steadying you. 

"Reader, it's alright," the voice has the distinct tone of someone trying to placate a scared animal, "You fell asleep in the library, it's alright. It's just me."

Once your vision comes back clearer as you calm down, you see Rupert is crouching in front of you, worry etched into his features.

As soon as your brain is together enough for it, a shame creeps in and you look away, jerking yourself out of his grasp. Shit, you should have just gone to your class, should have known that the cozy atmosphere of a library would have made you fall asleep. 

"Sorry." You sigh and think about standing up but instead slouch back against the bookcase. "Must have drifted off." 

"Sure." 

You look up and Rupert has moved to be sat cross-legged opposite you, clearly showing you he isn't leaving you alone, it makes you groan. 

"Asking you to leave me alone isn't going to work, is it?" Your voice is tight and you're on edge from the dream but you still give him a weak smile. 

"Afraid not," Rupert doesn't smile back, "I'm not going to ask you about the dream," he sighs, "but i am asking what worried you enough to cause it."

You realise, as you're trying to figure out how to say as little as possible, that if you'd spent the day before reassuring him instead of ignoring him, you might have gotten away with just waving him off.

Darn. 

"I just realised that I like… I like this town and I'd like to stay for as long as I can." Wanting to settle doesn't come easy to you, even after a couple of years you're usually on fight or flight mode but you'd realised that already there was a sense of normalcy to your routine and to sitting around the library table, laughing with the kids. You don't think somewhere has made you feel at home like this since the group of werewolves you'd run into a few years back.. "It freaked me out a bit, that's all."

Rupert sat in thought for a couple of seconds before nodding unsure, "I don't know what happened to you in the past, and I'm not going to pester you about it but.. How about we get you a coffee refill and sit at the table? Is that alright?" 

"I think…" you might have said no and rushed off to your classroom but when you picked up your coffee mug it was too cold and you really did need the caffeine, "I think I can do that." 

"Lovely," after helping you to your feet, he let you get settled at the table, "do you still take your coffee the same?" 

"Uh," you were sure he wouldn't remember your coffee order but, "yeah, same as always." 

When Rupert returned with the coffee you were surprised that he got it right, you didn't know whether to be touched or to laugh at this little detail sticking in his mind over the years. 

You were sitting on one side of the table corner and Rupert on the other side of the same corner, when he turned towards you, your knees bumped.

"Sorry…" you sigh, watching your hands grip the mug. 

"About what? Falling asleep in my library? You wouldn't be the first." Rupert smiled and bumped your knee again, this time deliberately. He watched for a moment as you let out a small laugh and then his tone turned more sincere, "Reader, a lot has happened since we were kids, you don't have to apologise about trying to work through it."

"That's the thing, I'm not trying, I just keep…" with a sigh you drag your hand down your face, "I just keep trying to run away from my problems." you groan and glance at him quickly before looking back at your mug, frowning at it like it had personally offended you. "I'm just scared… all the time." 

"Something to work on then." He says it so simply, with a small smile at the corner of his mouth as he sips his tea, as if that simple idea didn't throw you immediately through a bit of a loop. 

It's been a long time since you just accepted your problems as something  _ wrong _ with you as a person, as some kind of shitty life fact that you were stuck with but... 

Shaking your head, you give a small shrug, "Maybe."

"It's not going to be easy," Rupert won't sugar coat it for you, but he's determined you can make progress, "and it certainly won't happen overnight, but I'm here to support you if you need me." he reaches over and puts his hand gently on your arm, just below your wrist, his thumb smoothing the skin there. 

How many years had it been since anyone had touched you so gently like that? You can't remember. 

"Thank you."

"Anytime." 

You still looked like shit, but the talk with Rupert that morning had improved your mood enough for the class atmosphere to be significantly better and edging on normal. 

There was a lot of "See? I told you, I was just stressed about work, I'm fine now." no one quite believed that but were kind enough to let it go with little more than an unsure glance. 

Still, you hesitated before going into the library at break time.

The kids were glad to see you were more talkative than the day before but there was that little worried glance they threw around still lingering. 

When the others were distracted with talking, Oz turned to you. "You seem better today."

You hum and give him a smile, "yeah, definitely better." 

"Finished your extra marking work, then?" 

Oh the absolute sass of this kid. 

You couldn't stop the small bark of a laugh at him, not that you felt the need to try anymore. "I had some help, but yes." You glance at Rupert and smile at him when you see he was already looking your way. 

"Oh?" Oz raises an eyebrow and looks between you and Giles. 

You didn't blush. You didn't. But you may have had a stupid smile as you look back at Oz, embarrassed. "Turns out all I needed was good coffee and a good pep talk."

"Huh.." You didn't know what that meant, not quite able to tell what Oz is thinking, but you didn't like it. 

By the end of school you felt like you were just about ready to fall asleep on your feet. And honestly you had almost dropped off mid page turn at one point.

As everyone packed up, you sleepily walked up to Rupert and tapped his shoulder. 

"Yes?" Rupert asked but as soon as he saw you, he sighed with a sort of amused fondness, "Tired?" 

You nodded and headbutt his arm, just leaning on him. "Walked to work this mornin', can I get a lift home?" 

Your voice was slightly slurred with sleep and honestly, Rupert didn't take much convincing anyway but there wasn't any way he could say no now. 

"Of course," he pushed your shoulder gently and you stoop back on your own feet, "as long as you don't drool in my car."

You laughed and punched his arm where you had just been leaning, "I don't drool in my sleep."

Rupert doesn't grace you with an answer and simply raises a skeptical eyebrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is writing do hard!?!!??  
> How do ppl who write aton of multi chapter things do it? Lmao


	9. Watcher Protection Services

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang find out you've known Giles for longer than they were lead to believe.

Just as you were getting back into something almost resembling a sleep schedule, it was obviously  _ prime _ time for a little gang of vampires to take up camp in town. 

Although, you weren't complaining too much. Other times you were either wolfing out or helping with research back in the m library when Buffy went out to kick ass. But not this time. This time was a gang trip down town to a grungy old warehouse. 

"Finally," walking next to Giles, you were almost bouncing with excitement, "I've been here for ages, it's about time I get to do some of the more violent work."

Rupert rolls his eyes at you but smiles. 

"It's starting to worry me, you're so excited." Buffy laughs as she looks back at you. 

"I'm just-" you shrug. 

"Violently enthusiastic." Rupert butted in with a smile. 

"Yes, thank you Rupert. I'm just enthusiastic." you sighed and gave him a small glare. 

"Like a dog who hasn't been on a walk for a while so they bolt at every passerby." he continued with his extremely polite and helpful tone. 

"Oh, thanks. Thanks  _ so much _ Rupert." You shove him slightly as he laughs. 

"We'll be sure to let you out for more exercise from now on, don't worry." Buffy joins in with a bright grin. 

"Maybe a daily run would help blow off some steam-" Willow says with a smile and damn you can't be mad at these kids. 

Not that you had much time to.

Approaching the warehouse, there was already an audible commotion going on. They sounded very happy, "Time to crash their party." Buffy nods and you all split off to the various entrances. 

~~~

**_Ripper was bouncing with excitement as you handed him the last thing he needed to make the spell that makes flames burst from where his punches connect. "This is going to be so insane."_ **

**_"Sure is Ripper," You smile with a touch less crazy than he did, "lucky you attract to much trouble, I've been dying to see this spell in action."_ **

**_He grins and pulls you in for a quick, but passionate, kiss, "Anythin' for you, babe." he let you go with a wink and you roll your eyes._ **

**_He gives the wall a test punch and you both laugh at the scorch marks left behind._ **

**_"Lets go." he cracks his knuckles and throws you a wooden stake._ **

**_At some point, you get a little overwhelmed by how many vamps were around you. After all, you were primarily there to make sure your boyfriend didn't catch himself on fire, not fight. It's not like you were helpless but between the kid armed with just a pointy stick and the kid with magic flaming fists and a drive to cause harm… many were choosing to corner you._ **

**_Just when you were starting to worry, a burst of flame lights up the corner of your vision as Ripper- well rips his way through the small crowd._ **

**_"Havin' fun, love?" You grin when he stands back to back with you._ **

**_"Starting to, yeah!"_ **

**_~~~_ **

"You know what Giles?" Buffy grinned as she wiped her hands free of the vamp dust. 

Rupert gave a small sigh in response, knowing there was a joke at his expense on the way.

"It's lucky Reader joined our group when he did, you used to get knocked out so much, the gang and I were starting to worry you might get brain damage!" She all but skipped over to her friends happily, pleased with the way her watcher frowned. 

With a chuckle you put your arm over his shoulders, not paying any attention to his busted lip  _ at all _ , "Glad to see my Watcher protection services are appreciated." 

Rupert huffed but let you be-

"But really, I get he's old but...did he get knocked out that much?" with that he ducked out from under your arm with a frown, although you can see he also had a grin bubbling behind his eyes. 

Xander laughed, "Oh all the time, sometimes more than once per evil outing."

"It's not all the time!" Willow, bless her, tried to defend him a little but anyone can see she didn't really believe it. 

Honestly it kinda surprised you, you were very used to being the one needing saving, "Wow… Who knew it was so easy to take you down." you grinned and again put your arm around his shoulder, enjoying his embarrassment far too much, "Well, don't you worry your pretty little, frequently concussed, head anymore, Ripper. It seems I'm promoted to full time Watcher protecting."

With a small laugh Rupert again pushed you away lightly, this time with a half hearted "Do shut up." 

With a fake wounded look you turned to the scoobies to dramatically shun him for pushing you, but the words died on your tongue as you see their faces. Shocked, confused, some other stuff… 

"What?" 

The kids all collectively raise their eyebrows, like it should be obvious. 

After another small pause you look at Rupert and back to the kids and try again with a nervous laugh "What?"

"You called him Ripper."

That gave Rupert pause but you were still very confused, "And? It's his nickname?" 

"And," The man in question spoke up, "the last time the kids met someone who called me by that nickname, things went… a little south." 

Buffy looked amused at your sudden frown, "No, no. I meant that it's a  _ pre watcher  _ nickname. As in, you were friends with Giles long before coming here." 

Oh. "Well- I- I mean-uh.." you floundered for a moment, much to the amusement of the gang of teenagers. "Well, yeah I knew him, but like… We hadn't seen each other for  _ years! _ " 

Rupert nodded, perhaps a touch too enthusiastic, "Yes, we- we were friends when we were younger, but we lost touch, and by chance have both ended up on the hell mouth." 

"So, no secret conspiracies?" Buffy crossed her arms but there's evident amusement at your embarrassment. 

"No offence Rupert, but I wouldn't have just up and moved to the  _ hell mouth  _ at your request anyway." That was a lie. You knew it, Rupert knew it, Oz probably suspected it, which means Willow probably suspected it, and Buffy certainly had her doubts. 

Xander groans, "That's so lame! Even your secretive past is boring." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey babes! Sorry about this taking forever, I've got future chapters half written, it's just hard to decide on the order and also how much should happen inbetween them. Idk.  
> But anyway, this fic is still going on and i hope y'all enjoy my sporadic updates


	10. Strange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A whole chapt from the past!

**_Your parents were home. They travelled a lot, but that didn't mean you were free from their gaze. Gossiping neighbours were constantly ratting you out for being a trouble kid. They didn't know everything but still...Everywhere you went, you could feel eyes on you, weeding out your secrets one by one, cracking your shoulders with the weight of their pressure._ **

**_When they were home, you didn't much feel like the pressure let up enough for you to so much as get out of bed._ **

**_Good thing they were quite content just letting you shut yourself in your room and pretend you didn't exist. As long as you didn't draw attention to yourself._ **

**_The most you'd moved was sitting up a little to reach into the draw of your bedside table to grab a book._ **

**_You didn't read it, but pretending to read while you drifted in and out if awareness at least made you feel like you might still pass as a person. But mostly all you did was lay on your side and try very hard to not cry._ **

**_At one point, you can hear your parents have company over. You can't hear what they are talking about through the floor but you think you could be across the world and still feel the annoyance rumbling through the muffled sounds._ **

**_It's strange, you think, that somehow you wanted them to act like you mattered at all, but never wanted to feel their eyes on you ever again._ **

**_Knock knock._ **

**_For a second you tense and a panic flares up in your chest. But. That wasn't what knocking on wood sounded like, so no one was at your door._ **

**_Knock knock._ **

**_Your window then._ **

**_Turning just enough to look towards your window, you can just hardly see a familiar black leather jacket between the slit of your closed curtains._ **

**_Slowly you get up and try not cringe at how the floor feels under your feet._ **

**_You open the curtains and sure enough, there he is._ **

**_Silently Ripper gives you a wide grin and gestures silently to a bag slung over his shoulder. "I got you somethin" he mouths with a grin. He's smiling all mischievous like that but his eyes are gentle and worried._ **

**_The window slides open with ease and he passes you the bag. It's heavier than you expected._ **

**_Once he'd managed to scramble from the tree and into your room he grins again._ **

**_"Hey, love." His voice is soft, if it's so he doesn't alert the adults downstairs or so he doesn't overwhelm you, it matches the look in his eyes._ **

**_"Hey." Your voice cracks and you frown._ **

**_Ripper whispers a small laugh and guides you back onto your bed. "Sorry I'm late, I had supplies to grab." he reaches into the bag and pulls out a pack of water bottles. He hands you one before kicking off his shoes and getting comfortable in bed._ **

**_He opens his arms to you, and looks you in the eye._ **

**_It's strange, you think, somehow his eyes on you never felt like they could scorch a hole right through your skull, or like he's looking past you at the vague person shaped gap you left._ **

****

**_It's strange, you think, that all his eyes ever make you feel, is real, solid and… loved_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading lads. This is the most obviously a vent chapter yet but i still hope you like it.


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